#i am gonna be playing the og games

[dragonsfell]

jaheira banter from bg2, part 1.

DO NOT REBLOG. Here's some conversations from Jaheira in Baldur's Gate 2; that I wanted to highlight. I owe the enhanced editions of the originals and play to plan again, but I wanted to share some some the interactions Jaheira had; to see where she came from // i wanted these saved on the blog // a warning that given the age of these games and the edition of D&D they spawn from; fantasy racism was at its height and everywhere and alignments were ever present & very black and white

With Aeerie ; a wingless avariel (winged elf) and lawful good cleric

Aerie: This... this light makes your hair look really pretty, Jaheira. Jaheira: Don't be a fool, it does nothing of the sort. Aerie: But— Jaheira: Put your silly romantic notions aside, Aerie. This isn't some childish fantasy, nor some grand adventure. Any one of us could die out here at any moment. Aerie: But we can go to the priests and—and they raise us from the dead again, as good as new, can't we? Jaheira: Sometimes they don't come back! Sometimes some people, no matter how much you love them and no matter what you try to do, get... they get taken away. You're young, Aerie... You'll figure it out soon enough.

the rest will be under th cut, because there a lot I wanna share. DO NOT REBLOG.

With Anomen ; a lawful neutral human fighter/cleric

Anomen: Lady Jaheira, it seems quite strange to me that a woman of clearly noble past would choose the life of an adventurer. What has brought you to this dangerous path? Jaheira: It is a path of conscience. Some druids choose a contemplative lifestyle, but I sought a more active role in the furthering of nature's cause. And you? Did you become a priest of Helm only for honor and glory? Anomen: Of course not. The righteous path ever beckons. It is merely a dividend of the Order that a member can make a place for himself in this difficult world. Jaheira: I see. What place you choose to make for yourself remains to be seen. Anomen: It does, but I assure you that you will not be disappointed. - - - - - Jaheira: You wear the scars of battle with pride, Anomen, like one who truly believes his cause. Anomen: I must. It is what pushes me forward. Doubt is the enemy. Jaheira: Those that never question do not see the whole of the issue. Anomen: The whole issue is not important. There is only the here and now, and what can be done within. Jaheira: Your world is small, if focused. The more impressive picture is always larger than you can see.

With Dorn ; a neutral-evil half-orc

Dorn: You have fire. I respect that. But I warn you, druid: Attempt to poison me again and you will not see the next sunrise. Jaheira: What nonsense are you babbling? Dorn: This concoction. You neglected to account for my orc blood. Next time, try something more potent. Jaheira: Do not be ridiculous. I am a druid, not an assassin. Dorn: Then how do you explain this vile brew? Jaheira: It is a mixture of myrtle and willow— Dorn: IT IS POISON. Jaheira: Drink it, Il-Khan. Or next time I will leave your wounds untended.

With Haer'Dalis ; a chaotic neutral tiefling blade

Haer'Dalis: Why do you stare at me so, Jaheira? Have I offended you? My manner is oft grim, but I did not think you so sensitive to it. Jaheira: No, no, I find your wit a treat, especially when it is unleashed upon the hapless that did not see it laying in wait. Haer'Dalis: Then why the glances as my head turns away? Jaheira: Forgive me the curiosity, but you are quite alien to me. You are not of this place and do not fit into the natural order, at least not by design. Haer'Dalis: Ahh, then you are wary and are intent on keeping me under guard?Jaheira: Not so much, but I am interested to see where your niche finds itself. I am wondering what you will balance, for all things have their counterpart. Haer'Dalis: I see. Perhaps I straddle the fence, providing my own balance. Perhaps I drop things on either side as whim dost take me. Jaheira: Or perhaps you enjoy the discord of chaos because you have not found that niche yet. We shall see. - - - - - Haer'Dalis: Ah, my hound, this city be the great world of commerce! Perhaps we can sell Jaheira? Jaheira: *groan* Cut your wit, bard. The day has been long already without adding hours to it. Haer'Dalis: Cut my wit? Why, certainly, if I could only use your nose's razor edge to perform the task. Jaheira: Aye, it seems I've sharpened it upon the grindstone of your heart. Haer'Dalis: Well, my frumpy ptarmigan, I must protest— Jaheira: "Methinks thou dost protest too much." Aye, I can quote the poets too. If you must protest, I respond only to hunger strikes and, even then, too late. Haer'Dalis: Oh, <CHARNAME>, raven of sympathy! Yon woman is stifling my creativity and stealing thunder from my wit! I swear I cannot work amidst the lashings of her tongue!

With Hexxat ; a neutral evil vampire thief

Jaheira: You should know that I neither trust nor like you, Hexxat. Hexxat: I'd have been happier simply suspecting as much. Jaheira: <CHARNAME> seems to like you well enough, and I have great respect for HIM/HER Hexxat: As do I. Jaheira: I know you did not seek to become what you are. I will try to look past it as best I can. Hexxat: Thank you, Jaheira. I shall try to prove myself worthy of your respect. - - - - - Jaheira: I must admit you have surprised me, vampire. Hexxat: Oh? Jaheira: I expected you to betray us at the earliest opportunity. Yet you still remain by <CHARNAME>'s side. Hexxat: I would feel the same in your position. Jaheira: I would still slay you, given the opportunity. Hexxat: I'll be sure to bear that in mind. Jaheira: But for now... I am willing to accept your place in the party. Hexxat: That means a lot to me, Jaheira. Sincerely. Thank you.

With Keldorn ; a lawful good human inquisitor

Jaheira: Keldorn? You look pensive. Are you well? Keldorn: I am well enough, Jaheira, though our circumstance gives me reason to pause. Jaheira: Hmm. I have been thinking as well. It is hard to draw a line in the sand and say, "This side represents balance; this other side does not." Keldorn: Balance? Would that balance were the worst of our worries. Jaheira: Ah. Having trouble with the black and white aspects? Keldorn: That would be an understatement. I am quite certain of what evil lies ahead, but I am finding problems with identifying the "good" path around it. Jaheira: I'm not sure what to say. We do what we can when the opportunity presents itself. Keldorn: That would be all that can be asked. Torm guide us; we need his wisdom.

With Mazzy ; a lawful goodd halfing fighter

Jaheira: Oh, omnipresent authority figure, what are your commands now?Mazzy: Jaheira, there is a level of sarcasm in your tone that is perhaps unnecessary. We have a leader that honestly tries to anticipate our needs... 1. Player: Heed Mazzy well, Jaheira. Mazzy: As I was saying, <HE/SHE> has enough trouble keeping this ragtag group together. Perhaps it would be better to be more constructive, and less... Jaheira: Bitchy? Mazzy: If that is how you wish to put it, yes. Jaheira: Worry not for the feelings of <CHARNAME>, small one, as <HE/SHE> and I go far back and have an understanding of sorts. Mazzy: As you will. It was only a humble suggestion. I've no wish to intrude upon your relationship with <CHARNAME>.

[wabbitears]

play oneshot (2016) on steam for windows mac or linux, or the recent console port called oneshot: world machine edition (2024). thats it thats the post okay bye

^ play it for them

[felassan]

ouugh i just cant wait to return to thedas

[kuroo-hitsuji]

Thinking about how Diavolo planted an entire fucking tree, in his fucking hidden childhood hangout spot (protected from anything and everything else in the forest that may try to get to it, mind you, so that is just about the most well-protected tree in the entire devildom--), and of course made sure it grows some of the most Quality apples in hell... Exclusively because he wanted to show Lucifer Devildom apples. What the fuck. That is the gayest thing I've ever heard. And then you find this all out specifically because he turns your little apple picking date with him into Fawning-Over-Lucifer hour, I--

He's pining so fucking hard, man. They're literally so fucking gay. The fact that these two motherfuckers basically canonically have the longest slowburn in fucking History is eating me alive orz

[beardedhandstoadshark]

It's been twenty-one (21) years since Wind Waker, are we SERIOUSLY still doing the "if the graphics don't look edgy it means the game is bad!!" discourse lmao

[eebie]

i cant keep it hidden any longer

[lingkaranitubumi]

my old twtr got sus’d so i lost the link of the edit i’m using as reference here :( thank you person who made the edit you really made me feral for a while

many times i tried cleaning this up but the sketch looks WAY better so this is what y’all getting

[saturdaymournings]

i feel like you'd fuck with stardew valley do you fuck with stardew valley

ive actually never played stardew valley! i dont play games unless i can get them on one of my two consoles which are the 3ds and the playstation 2 lol

[gio-cosmo]

Guys I am so excited for LIS Double Exposure but I am also so so nervous

[what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque]

ok so i'm drinking and thinking

i'm gonna do 5 origin runs where i romance astarion, and... 9 runs as astarion where I romance everyone else to see their romances (+ maybe one either as him or tav romancing no one)?? plus i already did a regular tav romancing him, am in the middle of a redeem durge romancing him, and plan to do an evil durge romancing him... so I'll have played this game 12 times by the time i'm done with it??

Larian wtf have you done to me

[t4tklonoa]

in almost. exactly 8 hours I finished Lunatea's Veil.... I feel like crying still tbh why did they put two heavy emotional back 2 back oug h

[anakinh]

i should be allowed to hunt moogles for sport

[bisexualsbuck]

cause of death: thought about persona 3

[quirkycritters]

Game Night: CHAIN ATTACK!!!

i am,,, withering away but ITS DONE ITS DONE IM FREE FROM THE CURSE (<<< still haunted by wips) clocking in at 32+ hours, this sucker has been getting pushed around for 10 months-

while theres some things i would have done differently if i could redo this from scratch, i still had a BLAST cramming in as much detail as i could tolerate >:) some highlights / cut ideas / ramblings are below the cut, but please zoom for details! (if tumblr doesnt shred it to bits)

gonna be real i locked so hard onto drawing ripped jeans that i forgot i could have just shoved legend into a skirt and called it a day

SOCKS. SOCKS. the amount of Joy anytime i figured out how to personalize them with game references: legend (hibiscus), twilight (ordon goats), and four (force gems)

i WAS going to put time in a turtleneck, but had an epiphany and started digging for the most obnoxious hawaiian shirts i could find,,, ft. a sea flower (wind waker) and a saturation boosted plumm (twilight princess)!

yeah so warriors got the sweater instead of the skintight shirt, sorry gang

speaking of if i ever say im going to draw a cableknit sweater again, somebody PLEASE shake some sense into me- warriors sweater was a NIGHTMARE since my art program has an astonishing lack of good brushes (and yet here i am still using it)

MOST of the text has been modified using the twilight princess cipher because yeah. i was procrastinating shading. also the other ciphers were in japanese- times shirt is cropped, but reads "its 5 oclock somewhere"

winds lobster shirt :) that is all i just think its neat

wilds jacket :) link w(ild) 2017, aka the release year of botw

jewelry! sky has the fireshield earrings, and wild has the amber earrings~ could barely squeeze the bombos and quake medallions onto legend, and wind got the joy pendant

hyrule :D embroidery on his sweatpants because i was struck by whimsy- also i 100% thought his shield was purple tinted for weeks while drawing this because the page i used as reference was set at night, and i was originally basing his sweater on his shield- scrapped the cross pattern after several failed attempts but kept the color ^^

the chips are bbq because im biased (reads "crisps" in twilight princess cipher for no real reason except whimsy)

bless my dearest homie for game reccs because the og plan was to have them all be loz games! titles include wii sports resort, elebits, super mario party, smash bros ultimate, just dance 2016 (its box art is colorful ok), and myth makers orbs of doom (I HATE THIS GAME WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING, as i should, anyways i should play it again). four is suggesting orbs of doom, buddy aint even playing,,,

kinda was hoping to play around with hair colors and skin tones a bit more, but again, see the hour count- ill get em next time surely,,, also blue vs violet eyes for legend already had me in decision paralysis

the whole gang was gonna have friendship bracelets with color combos based on dynamics i found neat but oops! didnt finish the layer :')

thats a wrap! didnt yap about everything but im curious what yall catch onto- anyways surely ive learned something about biting off more than i can chew (<<< lying liar who lies)

[sleepylink]

I don't think they got to the Invisible walls in the Dungeons-

Biggest vent ever about a Zelda game:

ZELDA 2 IS ASS!

I literally cannot stomach it, the controls are awful, my eyes now bleed, and what the fuck do you mean that I died to a creature that looks like a Chu 5 CONSECUTIVE TIMES???

I can't grasp anything about it like how I'm supposed to use LITERALLY ANYTHING in the game, I get magic cool! HOW DO I EVEN USE IT IF I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE SPELLS ARE??? I have no idea what the NPCs are even talking about, I get I need fire to do something or a hammer (for some reason) to break roadblocks BUT HOW DO I GET THOSE IF YOU DON'T TELL ME EVEN A SLIGHTEST HINT???

What do you mean that the Knights can block every attack I make even if I hit the weak points??? Where the fuck is the candle that got brought up? Why is there not a single thing indicating a enemy in a dark zone unless I hit it from 3 pixels close??? Why does the beams not even do their job???

My eyes ache because everything is way too bright compared to it's predecessor Zelda 1, why? I don't fucking know probably because they're telling us to get off the game???

Why is A jump? It never has been for any Zelda game and usually A was interact or attack NOT FUCKING X-

To be honest, and I'll say it: If I ever play Spirit Tracks or Phantom Hourglass, they'll be better than ZELDA 2 OF ALL THINGS!

And thus concludes the "I hate everything" about Zelda 2 rant.

If there's anyone out there who loves Zelda 2, I Envy and Pity you and hope you get mental help and I pray your organs a healthy day because I literally cannot handle this.

[chrisevansredbelt]

Playing Dangerous

pairing: dbf!frank castle x reader

warnings: not really any! this is kind of a backstory intro. death, funeral, smoking, drinking, drugs, and the sheer thought of jon bernthal.

summary: after your fathers death, you find yourself familiarising yourself with his best friend. his hot, dilfy, big thighed best friend.

multiple parts planned! all inspired by lana del rey songs

a/n: me when im back bc i missed writing... anyway this is a somewhat different universe to my og dbf!frank story but also not because it follows the same concept of lana del rey songs.

ALSO even though it is frank castle... im using characters from the bear... sorry i guess i really am only using frank because of the name i just didnt feel right writing jon or michael SORRY

and i am also using sex and the city characters too okay im sorry if nothing makes sense now but ENJOY

playing dangerous by lana

.・。.・゜.☘︎ ݁˖ ・.・𝄞・゜・。.

Pulling up beside the familiar cars parked in front of the church, Frank swiftly gets out of his truck, shutting the car door behind him. His brother Carmen, and cousin Richie, stand by their cars, gathering however once Frank approaches them.

"Thought we weren't gonna see another one of these until it was one of our own and when we're 80." Richie notes, hands on hips as the three of them observe the crowd of black disappearing through the church doors.

Frank scoffs, "Yeah, well, Brock loved stupid games." He marvels at the amount of people who showed up. Brock always made note of how many enemies he had, he must have forgot to mention how many friends he had too.

Brock was Franks best friend. Ever since being enlisted together, they were pretty inseparable. They then went on to work with each other, shady business that subsequently cost Brock his life.

Brock was on the run from police... corrupt police who would do anything for $20 and a donut. Brock had a hit out on him ever since fucking over an old acquaintance by insulting his wife.

As cops chased him down one night, he was cornered. Brock ended up shooting and killing the cop he hated but was subsequently shot and killed by another.

Some good did end up coming about Brock's passing though, as an investigation was launched into the dead officer and the bribe's he took. Which ended up revealing an international bribe ring of some sort that landed Brock's enemy in jail with a hefty sentence.

Frank wished he had been with him that night, wondering if Brock's life could have been spared in any way. But on the flip side, Frank knew that Brock would have died happy killing the officer he hated so much and recalled the many nights Brock had confessed his disdain against the lifestyle he landed himself in.

"At least he's with his wife now." Carm then adds, earning a nod from the others.

As the last of the guests enter the building, Frank decides it's probably time to follow suit.

As painful as it would be to see his best friend no longer living, they all had a few words to say in the session and there was no backing out now.

Though everyone was still finding their seats, when the three men had entered, they had all still managed to give them pitiful looks. Eyes reading 'Sorry for your loss'.

The three of them make their way to the front row of seats, joining the few others that had clearly arrived earlier.

"Hey," Their sister, Natalie, smiles up at them, scooching over on the pew as they take their seats next to her. They offer greeting smiles back. Frank gazes around the church, admiring the many eyes of religious figures that stare back at him. "Hey, did you see his daughter turned up?" Natalie adds in a quiet whisper, making the three of them shoot their heads around in the direction of her gaze.

There, in the front row beside them sat you. Brock's only child and daughter. Everyone kind of just knew of you and your existence, but never actually saw you.

Though Brock always bragged and boasted about you, how beautiful you were, how proud of you he was, the truth was that he rarely saw you. A few years after he had left you, he occasionally made the effort to at least see you on birthdays and Christmas. But his visits slowly died off.

The relationship was still there, you texted and he sent you letters and money, but you lived with your friend and her family for most of your teen years.

Richie nudged Carmen, wiggling his brows, whilst Frank just takes you in. The men can’t help but ogle at you. You were almost like a fable or myth, and seeing you now for the first time ever was strange.

"Poor kid." Natalie purses her lips, brows furrowed in concern.

Frank knew he had to speak to you. Maybe it was the fact that you were his life long best friend’s daughter. Or maybe it was the funny feeling in his stomach as his eyes scanned your figure.

-

You watch as people leave in their expensive cars down the gravel road, sighing in relief at the lack of attention you were now getting.

Your father was laid to rest in the cemetery beside the church, in a space next to your mother.

Though few people still linger around their cars parked on the other side of the church, you keep your head down and make your way back up the church steps, pushing your way through the big, wooden doors.

You were glad no one else was here. Your social battery was drained for the month after today and you didn’t think you could take another ‘I’m so sorry for your loss’, ‘Your dad was a great man’, ‘I’m sure he’s happy to be reunited with your mother’, 'I didn't know he had a daughter'.

You made your way to a random row and knelt on both knees, clasping your hands in front of you and bowing your head.

You weren't entirely religious, nor did you really know what you were praying for. All you knew was that if someone saw you, they would at least respect the gesture and leave you alone.

Wrong.

You hear the church doors open behind you and you close your eyes, quietly sighing. Whoever it is, they do not speak, but you can feel their eyes burning a hole through your back.

Out of curiosity, you lift up your head and turn to the back of the church.

Oh?

"Hi," The man greets sheepishly, "I'm sorry if I’m interrupting.” A small, reassuring smile on his face. You stay silent but shake your head softly, allowing him to continue. He takes a few steps closer, "I'm Frank."

You blink up at him a few times until you connect the dots on who this Frank person really was (and stop ogling at his god-like face) "Oh." You let out accidentally, before clearing your throat and correcting yourself, "Yeah, I’m familiar with the name." You choke out, standing from your kneeling position out of respect... though you wouldn't entirely mind staying down there- God, you mentally slap yourself and remind yourself that you're in a church. And on top of that, you knew of Frank to be your dad’s friend... his best friend. You never saw him or heard anything else about him other than him being your dad’s best friend, but it was nice to finally put a pretty face to the name, “I’m Y/N.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you.” He smiles warmly now, extending a hand out for you to shake which you do so quite timidly, "Listen, if you need anything… I know you've probably heard that a lot today, but I'm probably the only one who really means it." He jokes and you can't help but let out a small smile.

“Thank you.” You nod. He was right though. Out of all of them, Franks did seem the most genuine. "Thanks for taking the time to check up on me."

He nods in response before reaching into his back pocket, pulling out a wallet and from that wallet, a small card, "Here, take my number." You take the small business card from him, "If you really ever need anything, reach out… If I had knew your dad would pass so soon, I’m sure I would’ve promised him to look out for you.”

You weren’t annoyed by Frank’s social interaction, unlike everybody else who talked to you today. Everyone else just seemed so full of shit. And Frank at least knew who you were.

-

You watch as another car passes by before sighing. The heat was starting to get to you a little and as the sun began to set, it landed opposite you, blinding your eyes.

After the funeral, you made the decision to walk to the closest bus stop and make your way back home that way. Though you caught an Uber to the church, you couldn’t bare any more questions or painfully awkward small talk about your day. So you opted for the bus.

The area was nice in any case, a small neighbourhood 20 minutes from Manhattan where you used to live as a child.

It was nice to experience the silence as well. You were so used to the loud of the city that you’d almost forgotten what it was like to just sit with nothing but the birds, the bugs and the leaves. And to actually see the sun without being blocked by some high rise building.

As you zoned out, staring at the ground, you hear the bus finally arrive. Only, you thought it was the bus. You look up and you’re met with a black pick up truck coming to a stop right in front of you and now your heart races.

The window rolls down and a familiar face slightly judges you, "You seriously taking the bus?"

You stand from your seat, small kitten heels clanking against the concrete as you step closer to Franks truck.

You're kind of loss for words. You had made sure to linger in the church for a while and only left when you believed everyone else to have already left. Frank must have stalled in the cemetery or something?

“I..." You start, "I thought it would be relaxing.” You explain vaguely, shrugging your shoulders. Frank quirks a brow and you sigh in defeat, “I didn’t feel like talking to nosy Uber drivers.”

Frank cracks a smile, shaking his head and reaches over to the passenger door, unlocking it for you, "Get in."

You're unsure what it is that makes you give in to getting into his car. Perhaps that Frank was probably the closest thing to your father that you were ever going to get in your life and you automatically felt safe with him. Whatever it was, it felt right.

Jumping into his car, you get comfortable, admiring the interior of it. You couldn’t help but notice, however, the faint smell of either cigar or weed lingering in the car, mixed with the efforts of the Black Ice air freshener dangling from his rear view.

Not only this, but you see his packet of cigarettes in his cup holder.

You’d been dying for a cigarette ever since the funeral started, but couldn’t bring yourself to whip one out as you walked to the bus stop- more concerned about your heels and feet surviving the journey rather than your urge for nicotine. And you refrained from doing so at the bus stop in case it pulled up any second.

“May I?” You ask after rummaging through your purse and holding up the small box of sticks.

“Go ahead.” Frank shrugs with a soft smile, “Where do you live?”

You blow out your plume of smoke out the previously opened window, offering it to him, “West 84th.”

“Upper West side.” He notes with an impressed nod, taking your cigarette from you gratefully.

You raise your brows a little, you could not believe it either that you lived there now, "Inheritance came in handy."

The drive to the city with Frank was nice. It wasn’t awkward and you were able to keep a steady conversation. You could definitely see why Frank was a life long friend.

"Which one is it?" Frank asks, cutting your thoughts short as he pulls into your street.

"This white one here." You point and Frank's lucky that there's a vacant spot out front. He seems impressed by your house as he leans over his wheel to get a look at it while he parks.

To be truthfully honest, you were a little bummed once you had come to a stop.

"Do you wanna come in?" You don't even realise what you're asking until it's already out and Frank's looking at you dumbly. Fuck. “I-I just got so much of his stuff, m-maybe you can help me figure out what to do with it?” You try to cover up.

You internally cringe however as you wait for his answer. Why the hell did you just invite this man into your home without hesitation?

You really didn't expect the words to come out of your mouth. But what was even more surprising was Frank's answer, "Sure."

You take Frank up the small stairs to your house, unlocking the door, “Sorry, it’s a bit messy.” You apologise as he walks in after you. You watch as he takes in your apartment and feel a little insecure for some reason. God, what did it matter what this man thought of your brand new apartment?

“No, it's nice.” He nods and you feel yourself relax. He makes his way into your living room and stares at the piles of boxes and plastic covered furniture. The last of your furniture had arrived yesterday and you had no time, or energy (or frankly manpower for that matter) to sort it out.

"It's a work in progress." You sigh, "I always imagined this to be something my dad would have helped me with." You admit and again, cringe at yourself for being so depressing.

"I can always lend a hand?" Frank offers.

You open and close your mouth like a fish. You didn't mean for Frank to get to that conclusion but at the same time, Frank seemed like he was already going to offer. But you were too humble to say yes, even if you were too cheap to get movers (even though you now had money, old habits never die) and you were convinced you could do it on your own.

But now that Franks offering, you’d be stupid to decline.

The one thing that needed to be put together was your bed, but aside from that your furniture was old, vintage pieces. They were also light so it’s not like it would be entirely arduous labour for Frank, but it would just mean a lot less chain smoking and broken nails for you.

You ended up ordering pizza for the both of you and fuelled Frank with beer as he got to work on setting up your furniture. You helped him out with the light work, but you mostly just smoked and chatted away.

Frank had no issue with it though.

Frank told you many stories about your dad. You realised Franks memories with him definitely outnumbered your own, which was humbling to say the least.

You found the both of you now seated on the hardwood floor of your home, taking a break as you take the time to really talk and eat.

"Can I ask..." Frank starts carefully, and you're mindless to what he's about to ask, "Did you resent your dad?" His question makes you put down your drink, " It's just- you seem to be taking his passing quite well and you were actually at the funeral... Most people I know in a situation like yours wouldn't do such a thing."

You dart your eyes around the room, running the question through your head. You, too, had realised that your own fathers passing hadn't made you a hysterical wreck, like it would have made most people. You also questioned why.

When you got the news that your dad died, you cried but only sparingly and never again after that day. But you went to class the next day, drinks with the girls the next. What the hell was wrong with you?

"I know the shady shit he did killed my Mom." You tell Frank, "I did actually resent him for a while for leaving, then I accused him of killing her and didn't talk to him for a few years." You admit shamefully, "But as I got older, I understood him leaving was keeping me safe and I couldn't argue with that... As for the day he died..." You begin, but take a second to find the words, "I don't know... I guess... it's like he's not really gone." You say, but watch as Frank tilts his head a little in confusion, "Well, he is gone... but it's felt like that for a long time now... Maybe I'm used to it." You feel as though you've just solved the mystery. You feel hot all of a sudden, looking up at Frank and seeing his eyes staring right back at yours. You clear your throat, "Um- What about you? H-How did you handle it?"

"Oh, man." He starts, shaking his head, "It was one of the worst days of my life... I was a wreck." He admits. This might be unfair to say, but you didn't expect a man like Frank to be so open about his emotions, "But your father was all about seeing the good and I just thought, he would kick my ass if he saw me like this instead of celebrating the life we had together and the man he was."

It was silent after that, but you must note that it was a comfortable silence. You let each other sit with the feelings from the conversation had and it felt nice.

Frank is the first to break the silence, by nudging your foot with his, “But what's up with you, girl? Are you in college?”

You smile at him and his effort to lighten the mood a little, “I graduated last year in journalism.” You sigh. It wasn’t anything groundbreaking, certainly not for New York. But it was the only thing that really interested you- having spent most of your formative years journaling your each and every thought, experience and emotion. Writing just came natural to you, “What about you? Are you married?”

Fuck, was that too forward?

“I am not married, no.” Frank answers anyway, with a laugh even.

You would be lying if you said you didn't search for a ring when he first introduced himself to you. What could you say, he was a gentlemen. And plus, you wanted to ask in case you just so happened to be keeping him from her by having pizza and beer at your house while he helps you build your furniture.

Yep, that's the only reason.

Frank only stayed for about an hour longer after that. It had gotten pretty late anyway and you were both tired from the day you had.

You walked Frank to the door, giving him a new case of beer as a means of thanks. Seriously, with Frank's help, all you really have left to do is unpack your boxes and decorate the house.

“Thanks for all your help, Frank.” You say, unable to even recall how many times you've expressed your thanks today.

“And I mean it when I said to call me if you need anything.” He reminds, pointing at you and you roll your eyes.

If you were dying or in jail, maybe. But you didn't have many plans to bother Frank. You wish you could-

“Where do you live?” You ask, simply out of curiosity... or desire to be in his presence longer.

“New Rochelle.”

You widen your eyes, but then furrow your brows, “You drove me all the way here even though you lived like 5 minutes away from the church?” You ask in disbelief. He just laughs as an answer, meanwhile you're rummaging to the side through your foyer drawers and handing him a bunch of crumpled President Jacksons, “Here.”

He laughs down at the money, pushing it back to you, “Sweetheart, I’m not taking your money.”

You look at the money shoved into your chest in defeat. But you know he's not going home without something, “Fine.” You mutter before digging through your purse on the same table.

You pull out your metal cigarette case and hand him a pre-roll that you planned to smoke after the funeral.

Frank looks at it longingly, averting his gaze back and forth before slowly bringing a hand up to take it, “Fan of the Blazy Susan’s I see.” He notes, eyeing the pink paper and you roll your eyes.

“Oh, is it too girly for you?” You mock, leaning against your door, contempt now that you've paid your dues.

He tucks the joint behind his ear in response, “Whoever you're buying from, tell 'em you've found someone new."

You're not surprised Frank grows and sells, but you scoff at his persistent concern about you, "I'm sure my weed isn't laced." You assure him.

He shrugs, "Maybe not, but at least mines free."

He had you there. Weed was an expensive habit and you'd considered stopping for a while now, but could never bring yourself to do it. And now that is free and most definitely safe, you wonder if you'll ever stop.

You bid Frank a final farewell and safe drive as he takes the steps down to his car. You wait and watch as he drives down the road and only retreat back inside once he's around the corner.

You can't help but miss his company now that the house is quiet, but lingers his smell.

And as Frank drives through the quiet streets of the city, he can't help but wonder... as do you as you flop into bed...

'Why do I feel this way?' Shortly accompanied with, 'Would it really be that bad?'

.・。.・゜.☘︎ ݁˖ ・.・𝄞・゜・。.

MANY PARTS TO COME

i hope ive hooked you in, im excited for this series

thanks for reading okey byeeee